London June 9, 2009

I have, without a doubt, had one of the best weekends.

Since Friday, I’ve been in London for the first time. The first day, I was walking around, getting stressed by the rush people were in, worrying about my ignorance, worrying that someone was going to either play me for a fool or steal my wallet. I realized that the two years I’ve spent in the lovely little town of Helsingborg has turned me into quite the small town girl. The next day, the old, big city girl in me started re-emerging and I relaxed, and have since then, been enjoying it to the fullest.

I can see India in London. I can see now where they get the chaos, the strange form of eat or be eaten point of view, the decadence. (We’ve had many conversations about the meaning of that word and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way it’s used is very personal, so it’s up to you how you want to interpretate the former sentence.) I’ve been drinking in all the sounds, the experiences and the people of this place. For all my life I’ve thought that the whole of Europe was just different variations of Scandinavia, and thus never been interested in visiting Europe with the same passion I’ve been interested in travelling around Asia, South America and Africa. Ah, the naiveté.

It’s the strangest city, in the sense that people look great and the fashion is wonderful, but then the buildings lack central heating and the doors are the least functional I have yet experienced. It may be a first world country, because they have the economy for it, but behind the façade, the place is falling apart. Quite surprising.

I don’t mean any of this negatively though; it’s a different culture, which makes me love it. The chaos gives it character and variety. I love variety. 

It was the perfect trip with a little bit of culture, a little bit of drinking, a little bit just hanging with friends, a little it of shopping, a little bit a nice trip to do with a loved one and a lot of good food! I’ve realized how much the Bear and me has grown, together and apart. I’ve realized that despite all my happiness lately, I have to stop wondering how others perceive my behaviour because this weekend I haven’t bothered, and I’ve felt great. 

I’ve returned home to Helsingborg loving the trip and London as a city, at the same time loving the fact that I live in a smaller town like Helsingborg. I’ve returned home re-energized and ready to face my challenges again. 

Couldn’t be better.

Sweet kisses to all.

Two Beers… May 16, 2009

A friend of mine gathered some friends as she had just reurned from her 3 month volunteer tip in India *Hats off to her for doing it in the first place*. I really wasn’t in the mood to party though so it was nice to realize that no one had gathered to drink, but rather just to meet up with her. 

None the less, by the time I came home I had just taken 2 beers, hadn’t had a singel cigarette (trying to kick the habit of smoking when I drink) and felt like it’d been a nice and relaxing evening. Imaginge my surprise to myself sleeping like a I do when I’m drunk (waking up every hour badly in need of water) and to worn out to do anything after waking up. The whole day has passed with me either just flippin’ through tv or sleeping. 2 beers! And I have so much that need to get done. I should just go ahead and be soberist.  

Kisses to all.

Intense May 4, 2009

Despite the fact that this weekend was three days long instead of the usual two, it’s been so busy I don’t feel like I got a chance at beeing with my bear and rest up. Partially because today I’m ending the weekend with a double work shift, partially because despite my very social behaviour, I can’t handle being social for more than a few hours at a time and it usually ends with me greatly enjoying my alone time. Because of this, I’m playing hooky from my apprentice work meaning I’m only working my evening shift at my part time job.

Anyway, so what have I done? Thursday I came home from work and shared a bottle of wine with the Bear, which totally messed me up and I slept long into the day on Friday. Around noon I helped someone move his and his girlfriends’ separate stuff into their new, joined apartment. 

Later in the evening we went off for a coffee and a movie “state of play” with another couple. It’s actually not that bad by the way.

Now, to the interesting part of the weekend. On Saturday, I flew up to a place called Ostersund for a banquet with the company I work part time with. It was 8 other girls, our boss, her husband, and me. Being a girl of usually no make up and baggy pants (and the occasional skirt), I find it especially fun with occasions that give me an excuse to play dress up. I looked awesome, as did most of the other girls and boys at the place. 

For the first time I found out a little more about what the company is all about. I ended up enjoying the drive the company showed itself to have considering how it’s grown exponentially in the two years it’s existed and I ended up feeling like I wanted to be a part of that, and see how far I could go within the company. It’s a good feeling. The girls in Helsingborg had nominated me as the newcomer of the year. I knew though that I had no chance to win because we were a small group of 15 in Helsingborg while they were a huge group of 150 in Ostersund who had barely heard of us. None the less, even if my name didn’t come up in Ostersund, I was flattered that they had nominated me down here. Very good feeling. 

The boss’ husbands’ humour finally got to me at one of the night so I let him know I didn’t appreciate it. He said sorry, I took a cigarette and when I came back in, we were OK again. All good. If there’s one thing I’m very glad I’ve learnt from my therapy, it’s that it’s much better to just be open about my feelings instead of walking around with a chip on my shoulder or the worry that I’ve done something wrong. Life has become very much simpler because of it. 

I got to know my sister”‘-in-law” a little better as well and had a talk with the boss about the possibilities of working enough to not have to take a loan from the government anymore. By the end of the night my feet were so swollen from my high heeled shoes I was about to cry, I was in a good mood and I fell asleep knowing I was going to have the kind of hangover one usually only has after a new years eve party. 

I was right. My head was hurting, I was partially too warm and partially having non-stop shivers, and I was constantly hungry. (Why do we do this to ourselves?)

While waiting at the Stockholm airport though, I realized that my mom was on her way home to Sweden from Finland that same day and looked up when she was to land. She was to land 17.55… the same exact time that my plane lifted. A pity, because I would have loved to see her face expression if she saw me as she off boarded the airplane.

Coming home, my wonderful Bear was making dinner with plans of having muffins for dessert.

Being a girl who needs her alone time, it’s quite obvious why I’m badly in need to just hang at home before getting to my daily routines. I needed a break, and by Sunday I was really quite tired of my colleagues (not because they’re bad people, but because I need my alone time) and was ready to come home. The need for some alone time is part of the reason I’m skipping work today.

Sweet tired kisses to all

The Forgetful Bore September 19, 2008

I forgot to mention that I’ve updated the photo gallery! A few photos I took last weekend while in Sävsjö, celebrating a friends (2 month early) birthday. I had a good time, even if I have a sneaking suspicion that our hostess (who I have to say should hire out her party-organising skills) thought that I/we (me and the 2-3 people I spent the evening talking with) were boring, unsociable and maybe even not having a good time (which should be noted I actually did have).

I just didn’t have quite the energy everyone else who was drinking semed to have when I myself wasn’t enjoying the alkohol as much as being able to sit and enjoy a conversation.

I truly do miss those. My craving for interesting subjects and conversations (with others other than the Bear, who has no choice but to deal with my ramblings) has just not been satisfied lately. I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason for that has more to do with me, and not the people I’ve gotten to know since arriving here (who I claim, at the risk of sounding pompous: are young, inexperienced, and untravelled… and whom I have a feeling (and I wouldn’t blame them for) find me to be a loud-mouthed besserwisser, who in the long run is found to be quite a bore).

Anyway, I noticed last weekend, after half a glass of wine, that I for some reason or other didn’t enjoy drinking quite as much as I usually do. (Oh, and I have to give myself a pat on the head for managing yet another weekend without smoking! Most probably a result of my not drinking. ) Strange no?

None the less, hats of to the hostess for making a party that I know everyone  (even if some of us may have seemed like bores) enjoyed and check out the photo gallery!

Sweet kisses to all!

The “snowflakes” are dust, so please excuse the bad quality!

Out of the Ordinary July 27, 2008

These past days have been slightly strange for me. I’m usually pretty quick at grabbing a chance at relaxing with a drink and thus, with the nice weather we’ve had lately, the festival, and the fact that I’ve had pretty much perfect working hours during all this, I should really want to call a couple of friends I haven’t met in a while and get out of the apartment. Beside the evening I came home from Dalarna I haven’t actually wanted to do much more than just hangin’ back and watching a movie though. Totally backwards since now is the time most people find other stuff to do. Typicall.

Might have a little to do with the fact that I didn’t really enjoy the drinking last time as much as I usually do… or maybe because I’m not in the mood to smoke and I do when I drink… or maybe because I’m tired of being tipsy? Who knows. But none the less, yesterday after work when I had the chance to enjoy the beautifully warm weather and a few drinks… I enjoyed sitting at home, taking it easy, watching some really bad series and turning in at 12. Felt perfect, but strange (to be me).

On top of that it feels really nice to get up at 8 today instead of 11 and get some washing done and enjoy the morning rather than wasting it all away.

Strangeness.

Sweet morning kisses to all.

I Survived to Live Yet Another Year! May 24, 2008

So, this wonderfully sunny and warm day I am no longer as we swedes call it, an “ungdom”, no more special prices because I’m no longer a youth. From now on I’m considered a grown up. (!!) Funny how one day can have that effect!

Yes, today’s my birthday. I’m spent the last few days cleaning, fixing indian snacks I’ve never done in my life (bugging my mom to death with my cooking questions in all times of the day) and basically looking forward to meeting up with friends to celebrate that I’m getting older (shocker!). Heh. Well, it’s all wrapping up today and hopefully there’s a lot people coming by to celebrate with the little princess (me)! Should be fun to see how people are dressing up for the colourful/indian theme I’ve got going on for tonight!

Happy Birthday to me! … and kisses to all!

Back to the Future May 6, 2008

Wow, what a(n extended) weekend it’s been! 

My parents finally come by on wed last week and 5 minutes after they left us an old friend rendevouz’d to helsingborg on his way up to Stockholm (the guy hasn’t met me since my emo years 8 years ago!). We acted like kids in a minor “theme park” that popped out of nowhere, enjoyed the sun, learned how to fly a cool-ass fucking kite and ended it with beer-testing beers extending from 100-something kronor scottish beer to the cheap 30-something swedish beers. Heh, good times. To say we were plastered as we stumbled on home is an understatement!

Before they could truly get over their hangover we waved them off in the buss station in anticipation of their original next stop: Stockholm. Don’t know if I would’ve managed them sleeping over another night! Hope they found some fun up there as well none the less. 

The next day, today, it was off to work at 4.30am and just then just enjoying some relax time!

Hope many more of these days will come in the future! Both me and the bear had such a good time that yes, we’d both love to come to san fransisco some day. Just have to find the money and the time.

None the less, tomorrow I have huge pile of clothes to wash and an essay to re-write. Looking forward to it!

Sweet kisses to all!

I’m Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot February 5, 2008

Despite the fact that we didnt have any running water for half the stay and I think most of us (including me) have come home with a a fever, I’ve had a wonderfully enjoyable weekend with the 40-or-something other spexare that decided to join the fun. I think part of the reason for everyone getting sick can have quite a lot to do with the fact that the theme for the “sittning” (a kind of theme-based big dinner with drinks and silly songs that usually last for about 2 hours) that we had on saturday was “beach-theme”. Which was cold! And of course, the drunker one gets the less one notices the cold and in the end one just ends up with a body that’s been struggling to take care of you even when one’s being too stubborn to take care of it. Heh, the poor body does go through quite a lot because of stupidy. So, none the less, not so suprised that I feel the way I do (did)… or that anyone else feels the way they do!

So, like I was saying, I came back to a boyfriend who had just gone through the worst of his own fever with a fever of my own. Today, two days later, it’s the first time I’ve been able to stay out of the sofa or bed without feeling like I’m gonna faint of exhaustion. Considering this… no, I haven’t been able to go the intervju. But I gave them a call and they seemed to understand which was sweet. So, keep your fingers crossed! Here’s a few photos to laugh at until next time.

Sweet kisses to all!

Home Sweet Home January 28, 2008

Aahhh, nice to be home.

I’ve had an interesting week together with the bear och two friends. I’ve been a horrible friend and girlfriend because I gave up on the snowboarding halfway though the week, and thus did my own thing for the rest of the week but I guess I’ll have to make up for it by making the bear a wonderfully romantic dinner for two.  

Honestly though, even if I in no way regret this trip or the money put into it, it’s not a trip i feel like doing again, i think. I’m glad I gave it a try though (even if I didn’t give it my 100% to learn how to snowboard).

I’ve learnt a lot of useful things about myself though. Like that the Indian in me craves the warmth for it to be a vacation! haha! And that a vacation has very different meanings for different people. Might be an obvious thing for most, but I never really realized how different it could be between people. Also, I realized that I will never give it my all if I don’t find it interesting to atleast 80%. Again, obvious I guess. But this week was proof of it. Snowboarding was fun, but not fun enough for me to be adamant about the learning.

The bear told me about a friend of his whos mom does her own thing while the rest of the family goes skiing… and I guess I’ll become one of those in the future!

But my god was the place beautiful, and I was impressed by the apartment place we lived in as well as how pain-free the 24h (not 18h like I said in teh former blogg entry) bussride was. Even if we had a close call of causing some serious damage on the buss …and all of us became sick in time for the trip back home.

We had a few really cold days where one couldn’t see much more than the next few meters in front of us and even the most viking-like of us all were huttering in the cold but nothing but it’s been a long time yet since I saw such beautifully snow covered mountains as Livigno. Mix that with a couple of really friendly guides, a soon-to-be famous (well, atleast very friendly) Italian rockband and a mixed-sex “strip-club”, and you got yourself a very enjoyable week away from home, even without the snowboarding!

But now, I’ll let you view the pictures at your enjoyment (in order of how I brought them up in the forme paragraph and go to bed to catch up on some sleeping my body missed out on, on the buss home!

Kisses to all!

 

 

 

 

Saffronbuns and Crazy Smiles! December 6, 2007

Had a really nice, girly evening yesterday. Got spontanously invited by a few girls in my class to bake some “Lussekatter” (direct translation according to me: saffronbuns!).

 

Haven’t done anything this christmas-y for a very long time! 

 

…And the lussekatter were without exaggeration the best I’ve ever tasted. This, by the way, is proof of the fact that all I did was basically sit and look pretty while the rest of the girls took control and stood for the great company. Tasty, tasty saffron buns for dinner. As well as gingerbread cookies, coffee and glögg.  

Hehe, I doubt all that was as appreciated by my stomach as my tastebuds, and the coffee (even though it was only about 1/4th of a cup) made me so hyperactive I could barely fall asleep 7 hours later at 2 am. No, I don’t drink coffee. Yes, you may as well give me drugs since I imagine it will give me the same kick. It’s like Coca-Cola for a 6 year-old. hehe

Actually come to think of it, next time I want to party, but without the alcohol, I’m just gonna get my high off of coffee and sugar, lots of it. *crazy laugh*!!!

Sweet christmas-y kisses to all.